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Things Pets Would Do If They Grew Thumbs

March 1, 2024

You may have noticed that we enjoy observing all of the various pet holidays on the calendar. March has one of the funniest and silliest, with If Pets Had Thumbs Day. As you may know, many scientists credit mankind’s opposable thumbs to that evolutionary leap that brought us out of the caveman era and into civilization. What do you think would happen if Fido and Fluffy unexpectedly grew thumbs? We of course can’t ask them, but we have a fairly solid idea. (Spoiler: mischief. A lot of mischief.) A local Mapleton, UT veterinarian offers some ‘petucated’ guesses in this article.

Take Tons Of Cute Selfies

Fido and Fluffy are both very photogenic. You may find your furry friends filling up your phone galleries with cute selfies!

Eliminate (Or Destroy) The Vacuum

While dogs and cats don’t agree on all things, they are generally on the same page about the vacuum cleaner. You’d probably find that household appliance on the side of the road. Or, in pieces.

Lock Everyone Else Out

Cats and dogs often do get along pretty well. They can even form powerful bonds! However, they can also get pretty jealous of each other. It wouldn’t exactly be an enormous shock if Fido and Fluffy were to lock each other out.

Try Their Paw At Playing Video Games

It’s not much of a leap to imagine that dogs and cats might want to give video games a try. After all, both Fido and Fluffy are hunters by nature. 

It does get a bit less clear trying to figure out which games they would like. Some of the ones we think dogs may like are Grand Theft Auto, Duck Hunt, and Frogger.

Fluffy might enjoy Pac-Man, Tetris, or Space Invaders. Then again, she may be purrfectly content with her current games. (You can actually download games for your kitty to play on a phone or tablet.) Some of our feline pals seem to really enjoy ‘catching’ digital rodents, fish, or balloons … even without thumbs.

All Sorts Of Adventures

If your furry friend suddenly sprouted thumbs, it’s probably reasonable to assume that it wouldn’t take them very long for them to figure out that they can open doors. (Fluffy may also need time to work out how to reach the handle.)

If pets could let themselves out, well, there’s almost no end to the places they may want to go. To be fair, canines tend to be more adventurous than felines. Fluffy may actually stick close to home. Your canine companion, however, may go let all of his doggy pals out of their homes, and then head to a park, pet store, or beach.

Retail Therapy

Another reason to be glad that your animal lacks actual thumbs? You may find yourself in a bit of a pickle if your furry best friend had the ability to order things for themselves.

But what do you think your pet would buy?

We suspect that kitties would order all sorts of things.

kitty furniture 

  • Beds
  • Boxes 
  • Scratching Posts 
  • Beds 
  • Smoked Fish
  • Live Aquarium Fish
  • Catnip
  • Spider Plants 
  • Kitty Shelves 
  • Cat Enclosures
  • Cat Food
  • Cat Treats 

She’d also probably order some random goods, just for the boxes.

Fido, on the other paw, would likely be most interested in food and toys. You may find your furry friend ordering food from, well, everywhere. Your porch or doorstep would probably be signing up for all kinds of food clubs, as well as every toy and pupscription box he could find. If your dog is a friendly type, he may even try to order himself a puppy!

Grab (Or Steal) The Car Keys

Man’s Best Friend has a healthy sense of adventure, so it makes sense that he would want to explore.  A cross-country road trip to every dog park in the country may be a bit excessive, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility, either.

Cats, of course, aren’t generally very fond of automobiles. Fluffy may just decide to chuck your keys into the nearest lake, river, or pond. She may also get a bit more elaborate with the paw art she likes leaving on windshields, and start using actual paint for the masterpieces she creates.

Cancel Appointments At Their Mapleton, UT Veterinary Clinic

We understand that animal hospitals can be intimidating to pets: the strange environment, new odors, and smells of other nervous pets, some of whom might be sick, can naturally set pets on edge. We do everything we can to make appointments easy for Fido and Fluffy! However, we’ve not yet successfully explained to them that regular veterinary care is crucial to their health and wellness.

In other words, we may find our appointment schedules suspiciously becoming quite empty. If you take your four-legged pal to a groomer, their salon may also find themselves bombarded by cancellations.

Social Media Warfare

Social media can be a blessing and a curse. It’s a great way to keep up with friends and family you don’t see often. However, it can also be toxic. Fido would probably amuse himself by watching funny videos or perhaps watching clips of mice. Fluffy may very well decide to become a cyberbully.

Get That Itchy Spot

It’s always adorable seeing animals close their eyes in bliss when you help them out by getting that itchy spot they can’t quite reach. Your dog or cat may immediately set about experimenting with different objects that may help them scratch more effectively. Any back scratchers you have would immediately be commandeered, but we wouldn’t put it past animal friends to also use forks, spoons, or other random items.

Snoop Through  Everything

Pets are very inquisitive. Cats, particularly, like exploring all sorts of nooks, crannies, and boxes. It wouldn’t exactly be out of character for Fluffy to pillage every drawer and closet in the house, and then snuggle up for an afternoon nap in the middle of the mess she made.

Loot The Cupboards. And The Closets. And The Pantries.

While Fido and Fluffy certainly do not see eye to eye on everything, this is something we suspect they would not only agree on, but possibly join forces for.

Of course, our canine and feline friends also may have different objectives in mind for this. Fido would of course be on the lookout for food, and would happily sample every single food item in the house. As for Fluffy, well, she’d probably just empty out your drawers, hide everything important, and then rip the labels off your canned goods, just to be a brat.

Hijack Your Computer

This one would require pets to not just grow thumbs, but also acquire some knowledge of computers. Then again, that may not be as crazy as it seems. After all, Fluffy has been trying to learn through osmosis by napping on warm keyboards and laptops for years.

What would happen if your pet got into your computer? Fido would probably download pictures of adorable dogs, fire hydrants, and gardens. Fluffy would deliberately delete your data, put an aquarium screensaver up, and then reset every single one of your passwords.

Start Texting You

Many funny websites have created amusing series of imaginary texts between dogs and cats and their owners. This could very well turn into an example of life imitating art. It would be interesting to see what your pet would say!

Love Notes

We simply can’t not laugh at our furry friends and their goofy antics. However, at the end of the day, pets are very emotional, and get extremely attached to their humans. You may very well find a sweet message from your beloved pet!

Do you have questions about your pet’s health or care? Is your dog or cat due for an appointment? Contact us, your local Mapleton, UT veterinary pet hospital, today!

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